New Year, New Look!

Hi. You might have noticed things changing around here. My life has changed so much in the past year and I want those changes to be reflected here as well.

2014 was a year of miles for me. I ran 9 races in 8 months, logged over 200 miles and developed a respect for a sport I always thought was beyond my abilities. With work and dedication I went from a 14 minute mile to a 9, from not being able to run a quarter mile to completing a vicious 20k. Through running I was able to recenter, better deal with my postpartum depression, and give myself the energy and confidence I needed to get back into the gym. Through running I realized I can still be an athlete.

That’s what it all really boils down to for me, what can I do that I never thought possible? What kind of example can I set for my girls as they grow up in this very complicated and women-negative culture? I want them to look at a challenge and not even question it because it’s just natural for them to go, do, conquer. I want them to hear “Girls don’t/can’t/shouldn’t…” and to be able to say “Girls do, I’ve seen it.”

Not to mention I feel better than I have felt in a long time. My mind is clearer, I’m happier, and I’m more determined than ever.

I’ve got big plans for 2015, big lifts and big miles are waiting for me. 500 lbs and 500 miles, here I come!

musclemama

New Year, New Look!

Monday Mindset

I’m recovering from a vacation hang over, so enjoy this adorable video of Emi flipping her very own tire!

I have lots of pictures from our trip coming this week, once I get a little time and a lot more sleep.

Monday Mindset

Going Forward

When we were both new...
When we were both new…

I wrote a while back about how my blog name was outdated. There are less pawprints and no pacifiers and now that I am writing here more regularly I think it’s time for an update. In all of my “bios” I write the same thing. “Wife, mama, fit addict, happy.” because to sum myself up, those words are the most important things to me. If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram you may notice I’ve tweaked my name on their as well. I started out as a Misfit Mama, as someone who felt I didn’t quite fit in anywhere and that made me feel alone. As I’ve grown as a mother and met many other amazing women in real life and here on the interwebs, I no longer feel so alone or out of place. There are a lot of women out there like me, I just had to open my circle a little wider. So you’ll notice that my header has changed as well. My link will remain the same for a while, but I may eventually switch that over too.

I love that life is constantly evolving. I love change, I embrace it, as bittersweet as it can be. When I started this blog it wasn’t about anything, just a sort-of diary that I used to record the words I would have forgotten other wise. Some of the posts make me cringe now, some of my words seem so silly and immature in what is really no time at all. I am happy with how time as changed me, how I have let it flow around me like water and smooth away the jagged edges of my past. It’ll continue to change me, to shape me, and I am looking forward to looking back on these times. To see my own words, to remember those feelings. What I miss the most about my past is always the feelings and not being able to  remember them very well. I am such a different person than I was 5, 10, 15 years ago, but I get to revisit her in the hundreds of notebook pages she left for me, in the millions of letters I leave scattered behind me like bread crumbs. Sometimes I get a little lost and words have always been my path back.

In the years to come I’ll look back on each of these posts and I’ll still be thinking the same thing, “Thanks for the memories.” There is no better gift to give yourself.

Going Forward

The Misconception About Fitness

179171_171572279675757_807832734_nFitness isn’t about a number on a scale. Or the image in the mirror. Fitness is about health. Whole health — mind, body, and spirit.

I love my body. I appreciate how well it works, how strong it is, and how much it has been through. That’s why I am committed to making it better. To making it healthier. To being the best me I can be.

When I talk about losing weight, leaning up, gaining muscle, doing more — I’m not coming from a place of unhappiness and self-hatred. I am doing what I can to make my body a healthier, happier temple for my soul to reside in. I am an educated person, I understand how food works with my body and I know my body better than anyone else. If I say I need to lose weight or body fat, I mean it. It’s not a plea for compliments.

We’re a culture of affirmation. We live in a Facebook world where we anticipate our likes and throw comments out simply to get reassurance. This doesn’t help anyone. If your friend who is obviously not as fit as she’d like to be (even if her standards differ from yours) says she wants to get healthier, I would hope your first response is one of encouragement and positivity. “That’s great, way to go!” Because, when you tell someone they don’t need to do something they feel they do, you are downplaying their goals and essentially their future accomplishments. You’re not doing anyone a favor by giving them a way out, or making them second guess themselves.

Now, I understand there are people out there who have a problem. I suffered from an eating disorder for over 6 years and dropped down to barely livable weights before anyone really said a word. It was a very strong and supportive person who looked me in the eyes and told me “You are going to die,” that gave me the courage to seek help, and it worked because I wanted to be better. If you know a person like this in your life, do what you can to support them, but know that saying “You don’t need to lose weight!” or “You are so skinny!” isn’t going to deter them. It takes love, kindness, support, and their own will for them to seek help.

Good health is something to be encouraged and supported and it looks different to everyone.

I read this article this morning and I loved it. Especially this excerpt:

“On top of that, we understand human biology. Humans evolved in situations in which food was scarce. This led to an evolutionary adaptation that causes you to crave salty, sugary and fatty foods. Consuming foods with these characteristics actually lights up the same pleasure centers in the brain as cocaine.”

So when your friend is trying to change their eating habits, they are basically fighting an addiction they didn’t even know they had. It’s a tough road, whole wellness, but it starts one step at a time. If that first step is met when resistance it can easily lead straight back to where we were trying to break away from in the first place.

The Misconception About Fitness

Sharing Joy

This is my happy place…

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Over the weekend I brought my daughter out to experience it with me. She was in heaven, and I couldn’t have felt more joy at her happiness. What I call “my mountain” is really the farthest out-cropping of a sprawling mountain ridge. It’s still pretty fun to climb and can be an intense workout, but it’s not impossible for anyone to do it. If my two-year old can do it, what’s your excuse? We had so much fun, she refused to stick to any trails, and her favorite part was climbing the rocks and running downhill. She makes me so proud.

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When we got to the mountain and started up the trail she decided she wanted to go a totally different way. We asked her to follow us and stay on the trail, she looked up at us, waved and said “Bye Mom, bye Dad!” and continued on her own. In the middle of the desert, where she has never been before. No fear, no worries, just a wave and she was on her way. That kid…

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Sunday morning I woke up with a burning throat and throbbing ears so the Hub got up early with Little Miss and they had some Daddy/Daughter bonding time while I rested. We spent most of the day laughing, snuggling, and splashing in Emi’s new pool. We ended the day in the backyard, doing tire flips (with Emi’s help, of course!) and running around. Emi loves to do what we do and I hope fitness just becomes an organic part of her life. Active will just be something she’s always been.

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All in all, it was quite a refreshing weekend. After everything, peace radiates through our house and I am soaking it deep into my bones.

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Sharing Joy

Step One: All In

Yesterday, I wrote about how I’ve decided to pursue my passions and apply to become a Bradley Method™ instructor and a certified personal trainer. Today, I bought my personal trainer exam voucher and study materials and I am going to schedule my exam for sometime in July. I’ve already filled out my Bradley™ application for the December workshop, rewrote my birth story, and will be putting down my deposit in the coming months. Because why not just jump in head first? I am so excited and nervous! I know I have a lot of work ahead of me but I am so ready to get started.

I’ve wanted to do these things for so long but I kept making excuses, mostly pregnancy/baby related. After losing our baby last month, it really pushed me to just go for what I want. To let what happens happen, but to make sure I was doing everything I could to make my dreams a reality.

Last night I dreamed that I got fired from my job. I was happy, I was not only forced to make the changes I wanted to make but I was free to do it. Alas, it was only a dream and it will be a long time before I’ll be able to make these things my main source of income, but it’s a road I am ready to travel. It’s not going to be easy, I’ll be a little like Lightening McQueen ripping up the old path and laying down new pavement, (yepppp I’m a mom!) but it’s going to be worth it. (And now I am going to adopt Ka-chow! as my own personal catch phrase.) Next up is to get CPR/AED certified before my exam.

If all goes as planned, I’ll be a certified personal trainer and Bradley Method™ instructor by the end of the year!

Well hello, Life, I see that you’ve been waiting for me.

Regret setting in http instagr am p PIsHHNDUly

Step One: All In

Your Mountain Is Waiting

I adore Dr. Suess. His imagination, his outlook on life, how as an adult his words are more profound to me than ever — he’s eternal. My favorite Dr. Suess quote of all time is:

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This may be because my favorite thing to do is climb the mountain ranges surrounding my town and running down them. There’s a point when I’ve picked up so much speed and my toes are barely touching the ground that I feel like I am flying. It’s the most exillerating feeling. The mountains have become my happy place.

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Lately I have been thinking about happiness, about the things that matter to me and how I want to spend my time. I’ve realized that I am not doing the things I am passionate about. I want to work with women and babies, I want to teach people about health and fitness, I want to spend more time with my daughter, and I want the time I spend away from her doing things that fill up my soul. So with the Hub’s encouragement and support, I’ve decided to pursue becoming a Bradley Method™ instructor, doula and a personal trainer. I’m still deciding when I want to take the personal training certification, but I know I will be attending the Bradley workshop in December. I am excited and scared and so super nervous, but you’ve got to take risks to make things happen. I want to live my life in a way that will inspire Emi someday. I want her to follow her heart and work hard to obtain her dreams and I need to be the person I want her to be.

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Your Mountain Is Waiting