This week I went back to work and Emilia Rose went to daycare. Day 1 was awful; involving a baby breath holder, freaked out teachers, and a trip to the pediatrician. She cried, I cried and I wondered how I was going to do this. Day 2 was immensely better, and here we are nearing the end of the week and it feels like everything is going to be OK. See, my daughter is stubborn, she knows what she wants and she doesn’t bend much to the will of others. (Hence why I have only blogged a handful of times since she was born, Babyface doesn’t do “down”.) She wants to be held – upright – or layed on her tummy. She wants attention and interaction. She wants to move, to dance, to sway. She wants NOTHING to do with a plastic, pacifiers or bottles, which is frustrating because she also wants to eat every 2-3 hours. Her teachers are getting to know her, she’s adapting to her new environment, and Mama takes breaks and stops by for mealtime cuddles. We’re all learning to compromise. So the worst thing about going back to work and daycare? Being away from her most of the day. Big surprise right? I am terrified she’s going to laugh or roll over or crawl or walk or any of her firsts, for the first time, at daycare. I don’t want to miss those, it will crush my soul to miss them and the reality is that I probably will. At least some of them. Thankfully I have the ability to go spend a little time with her through out the day. I catch a glimpse of her new days, to observe these new things with her. For instance, she seems to LOVE watching the other babies, she just stares and smiles at them and seems content with it. She also likes to be swaddled (something I don’t do at home) or at least sleeps for them that way. I firmly believe it’s a good thing for her to be exposed to other people, to other caregivers and other ways of care. Experience is the best way to learn in life, the more the better.
As for Mama, I’m doing OK. I never really have a hard time adjusting to change and I try not to dwell on what I can’t change. I am thoroughly enjoying motherhood, completely addicted to my little family, and looking forward to our camping trip this weekend. Life is pretty great in my little corner of the world. I’m glad to be back to the blog and I hope I still have some readers!
My little big girl.