Before I know what you are (and long, long before I’ll begin to know who you are going to be) I just want to say that I absolutely, unconditionally love you. I don’t need to see your face to know that you are already perfect; you are already everything I have ever wanted or dreamed of.
No matter what I see tomorrow, you are mine and you will always have my heart. I’m nervous, guilty, scared and so excited for tomorrow’s appointment (even though you aren’t going to like it, sorry honey) and someday I hope you get to experience it too and I hope I get to be a part of that process. I promise to be patient, to wait in the wings, to let you have your experiences and feel your feelings without the need for explanation. I promise to do it your way and to respect your choices and opinions, because if you’re anything like me that’s what you’ll want. (And if by then I forget these promises, that’s exactly why I am writing these letters.)
I have so many plans for motherhood, and I can’t wait for you to teach me how to be the best mama for you, I promise to do my best to listen to and learn from you. As a baby I hope to teach you that you can trust me, as a child I hope I can teach you to trust yourself, and as an adult I hope you’ll always have that trust. Just know that whatever you are, whoever you turn out to be, you are always going to be perfect to me.
With love bigger than the universe,