When I was little, my grandma had a sign in her house that said, “So it’s not home sweet home, ADJUST.” For the longest time I had no idea what it meant, I thought adjust was a place or something, then when I finally understood the message it still didn’t make sense. Nothing ever felt more like home to me than where my family was, and Grandma’s was always full of family. Since moving away, I’ve gained a better understanding of that sign, because “home” to me is where the heart is, and my heart is divided between many.
Last week the Hub and I visited our family across the country, it was a little complicated, a little hectic, and very tiring but it was the happiest week I’ve had in such a long time. Not only did we get to tell our parents we are having a baby in person, but we also got to meet our newest nephew and bond with the others who are now older and more capable of remembering us (and liking me) and I had the chance to strengthen my relationship with my brother-in-law. If these three things, that were most important to me during my visit, don’t illustrate how important family is to me, then I don’t know what will.
Unfortunately, these days went much too quickly, and in the excitement of “hello’s” I forgot about the good-byes. The hugs, the tears, knowing I wasn’t going to “see you soon”, it kills me. It makes me cry just writing about it, and my family is a family of cry babies. The first good-byes weren’t even said before the first tears started falling, and it just escalated from there. A normal person, with a normal thought process might anticipate this from the beginning, that the end is going to be hard, but my brain just doesn’t compute that far ahead. That’s OK with me though, because it means I fully enjoyed my visit, without dwelling on the fact that it wouldn’t last long enough and that good-bye was coming too soon and two years will always be a long time. Instead, I enjoyed seeing my family, immediate and extended, and friends. I enjoyed family dinner and spoiling my nieces and nephews while I had the chance. I enjoyed the zoo, even though it meant the beginning of the end. I love going back home and this visit was probably the best yet.