Sexy Halloween Costumes, You’ve just been John C. Mayer’d

I hate sexy halloween costumes. For instance, this sexy halloween costume is bad, but this is worse.

Why yes, she IS wearing body paint as a shirt! Friends, it doesn’t get much sluttier than that.


The worst part? I love sexy halloween costumes as much as I hate sexy halloween costumes. So here lies my dilemma, do I slut it up for halloween in a sexy halloween costumes as a sexy french maid or a sexy nurse or go against the norm and take back halloween as a non-porn holiday as a regular maid or scrub-wearing nurse with a beeper and a face mask? Honestly, no girl wants to be the only girl at the party not wearing sexy halloween costumes, I mean, come on does anyone remember Mean Girls? But who wants to be just another slut in a sea of sluts? Not I. How do you judge other females for their slutty attire when you are wearing it too? You don’t. Well, ok, you do but now you are a hypocrite. So as much as I want to be that girl who is way too classy and self-aware and just-so-damn-awesome that she doesn’t even care about sexy halloween costumes or being the prettiest/skinniest girl in the room, I am not her. Thus, here are my favorite sexy halloween costumes.

Sexy Goddess of Love Been obsessed with togas ever since I wore one to a canceled toga party. Whatever assholes, I looked hot in walmart.

Sexy Poison Ivy

 Batman, Uma Thermon? ‘Nough said.

Fantasy Warrior

Xena the Warrior Princess? Again, ‘nough said.


So sexy halloween costumes, because you confuse me and just generally piss me off, you’ve just been John C. Mayer’d. Check out Mommy Wants Vodka or @mommywantsvodka or @john_cmayer on Twitter, for a better understanding of this post and just because she is awesome in general.

Sexy Halloween Costumes, You’ve just been John C. Mayer’d

6 thoughts on “Sexy Halloween Costumes, You’ve just been John C. Mayer’d

  1. Allycat says:

    Hahahahahaha You got so many dirty looks while we were in there. It was actually a very good toga for having been made in about 5 minutes.

  2. Heather M says:

    Now, if you want a reeeeal hoochie halloween costume- go to! (It’s where I got my costume idea! Of course, the one I wanted was $240 and I’m just not willing to spend that on a costume, which means my grandma made if for me =]. But most of the costumes are average-priced!)

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