Parenting 101: You know parenthood is coming when the word blowout no longer means this

And this becomes a source of terror:

Hub:  The only reason that I don’t want a kid is because I like my sleep…

M: You’ll sleep just fine.

Hub: The only reason. It can poop, pee, puke, whatever…as long as it’s not while I’m sleeping. As long as it’s while I’m awake, I’m fine. It won’t be that way though. It will get super soaker poo sprays at 2 a.m. and one of us will have to clean it.


*Hm, I wonder which of us will be doing that. A million dollars says it won’t be Hub.*


M: You’re a freak.

Hub: Babies like to spray liquid poo, it’s funny to them…also relieving.

M: Their poo is a little different, a little less intense when they are breast fed.

Hub: I don’t believe it. Kids spray.

M: Everyone is different, Hub. Not saying there won’t be blowouts or spray.

Hub: Blowouts!!!!!!! Aaaahhhhhhh. Ugh. Gross. Like a car tire but instead of air, liquid, brown, and smelly. Eeeewwwwww

M: Blogging this.


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